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There’s no rules: I could release a punk rock song and tomorrow a country song - Sam Wickens On Creative Freedom Beyond the Industry

Northern Irish musician Sam Wickens opens up about the realities of being an independent artist and navigating the music world without industry pressures. In this interview, he reflects on the creative freedom of producing and promoting his work on his own terms and shares advice for artists striving to carve their own path in a saturated industry.

By Sonia PanunziEditorial Writer

Photo credit: Peter McIntyre

Sam Wickens’ sound embodies emotional fragility, woven into intricately self-produced indie-folk melodies.

In this interview, he shares his refusal to be confined to a single style, embracing authenticity and growth through experimentation. He reflects on how independence reignited his love for music, and while challenges exist, nothing can outweigh the freedom and autonomy it brings. 

Sonia Panunzi, Musicngear: What are the biggest challenges of being an independent musician?

I think at the minute it is that independent musicians are on two sides; they either know what to do in the industry or they don't. But it's a weird one, there are different challenges now.

It used to be recording, which you can now do yourself, or it used to be releasing music, and now you can do that yourself. A challenge can be knowing a direction - I feel that creatives aren’t good at that. They are very sporadic and just go with the creativity; they're not leashed in.

I would say the most typical thing would be to have a clear line of what to do next or what the next step is. There's a lot of stuff that’s easy, but it depends what part of the industry or music world you're wanting to reach into.

If you're wanting to get into the charts, that’s obviously going to be a different task in itself. 

Musicngear: What do you feel is the most rewarding part of being an independent musician?

For me, I look at everything almost like different seasons or projects. It’s whenever something gets done from start to finish and is completed the way that you have envisioned it, nothing can beat that. Because then, no matter what happens, if no one listens to it, that doesn’t even matter because I accomplished what I was meant to with that specific project.

I think that when you look at it like that, you always get a reward. In the past, I have gone through phases of not enjoying the recording or creative process at all.

Now for me, it’s as long as I am enjoying the entire process, it doesn't matter what I get from the song or the process or whatever I create, it’s just, I’m happy, and I’m content in myself, and most importantly that I was happy enough to be able to create it. 

Musicngear: How do you feel like being independent influences your creative choices? 

I think that you feel a lot more freedom. Maybe others don’t feel like that, but I definitely do. Today, I could release a punk rock song, and then tomorrow, I could do a country song. There are no rules. I think in any creative industry, there will always be people that try and apply rules to it.

The majority of people that create, they create because they don’t see rules, whereas the industry creates rules on purpose. It is having that ability to just be yourself and allowing yourself to change with it consistently. 

Photo credit: Peter McIntyre

Musicngear: Do you feel like you have a particular workflow or routine when creating new music?

No. I really tried to figure out a specific structure or workflow, but I don’t. I have tried to do the planning of: I’ll write a bit about this, I’ll record on this day. I’ve tried all the different ways and techniques, and I’ve hunted the internet to source inspiration from other people's workflows and how they do it.

I released a song recently called ‘Pass Over’ on YouTube that had been sitting on a hard drive for I think a year and a half. I kept telling myself I’ll finish it but eventually forgot about it. Then my studio got a leak, and I had to rebuild it. I was over there doing all the work and, of course, as soon as you can't record or you can't do anything musical, that’s all you want to do. I was on my computer, and I found it, and I was like, ‘That would be cool to release.’ And because I couldn't fully work on it, I was like, I’ll release it. I then recorded a music video, which was a complete spur-of-the-moment decision.

When looking back at my first independently released single, ‘The Devils With Me Now’, I had asked my partner if she could send me word prompts, and from there, I would write a song that reflected that word. One of the words she gave me was ‘sin’, and I wrote the song ‘The Devils With Me Now’. In a way, I went completely off track from my prompt word ‘sin’, but it had started that creative domino effect.

So yeah, it is completely random for me, and that's the way it's always been. If I look at songs that I’ve written, none of them were due to me thinking, ‘I’m going to sit down and I’m going to write a song about that’; it was always off the cuff, so workflow has never truly been a consistent thing for me. 

I feel in the industry, you have that feeling of being on a tightrope. You end up alienating yourself from everything and everyone, and you're just a product that isn't being sold that well

Musicngear: How do you know when a song is finished and ready to release?

That is something that I do really struggle with. It’s something that I’m always trying to get better at because at the core of the issue is the need to make it perfect; if it’s not perfect, it's a wasted opportunity. It's a toxic habit in my head that I am still trying to get rid of.

At the minute, the way I’ve done it is by telling myself, by constantly adding this or altering a song, whenever you're trying to break it down and focusing on small details, is that no one else is going to hear those small imperfections. I have to remind myself you’re now going to hate the song if you keep working on it. I think a good rule of thumb is that you work on a song until you’re like, ‘this sounds nice,’ and then you just release it from there.

Sometimes, it is difficult to just stop overthinking and let it do its thing, but it is the best way to be. I’m not a perfect person; no one is, and you can reflect that in your music. Especially creative people have a lot of issues, and they can be flawed in the best way, and the way to express that is to write about it. Let your music reflect that as well. A good song will be a good song no matter what. 

Musicngear: Being independent and handling your own content, how do you feel like that is important to your career as a musician? In comparison to being with management and now being in sole charge of yourself. Why is that important to you?

The struggle that I had dealt with in the past is, whenever you’re in the music industry, and I believe that it's with any industry, you become a product. If you're being booked for a gig, you are being bought, everything has to be manufactured so you can be sold. This really impacted me and ruined my brain because I was seeing people that I know use social media consistently to promote themselves, and I don’t really use it, but then it felt like my life was trying to be sold, and I had to use it, not because I wanted to. Whereas, now with the freedom, being away from the industry, I’m trying my hardest to tell myself not to take life so seriously. It helps so much whenever you can be yourself, and with the kind of music that I do write, which can be very depressing, and it becomes an outlet from my brain, a cathartic way to let that poison out. It just became too much. It was like I was selling my depression. 

Whereas now, being independent, I can record funny content if I feel like it, and that’s not something you can really do if you're being represented because they would say you're not taking things seriously. Content is bigger than the music you release, it is also allowing people behind the music and seeing you're also a person you have bad days.

Sometimes, I feel in the industry, you have that feeling of being on a tightrope. You end up alienating yourself from everything and everyone, and you're just a product that isn't being sold that well. If you were a big pop star, I would understand. I think one of the ways I described it before is living the life of a child Disney star without any of the perks of being a child Disney star. It’s very tiring.

Whereas now it's great as I can do what I want when I want. 

Musicngear: What was the inspiration behind your most recent single Pass Over? 

That song was written about a year and a half ago. With songs, you can listen to them and get a different story and perspective each time, it’s all interpretive. If somebody listens to the song and it means something, then that’s what it means. My take when I wrote it was that I had seen friends of mine that were in a strange break up phase, and I was watching it from the outside, observing it. I started writing it with the essence of a conversation being had between two people.

In my view, it’s the polar opposite of the John Mayer song ‘Slow Dancing in a Burning Room’; ‘Pass Over’ was about understanding that ending. It wasn't until I recorded the video that I had decided to put a voicemail in. I love it when I have heard that in songs, and I had never done that before. I had decided in the process of creating the visuals that I wanted to do that. So I went on my phone, and I had a voicemail from my granny.

I listened to this voicemail, and as soon as I broke it up and put it in the song, I was like, ‘this has just changed the entire feel of this song.’ My granny has dementia, so it completely changed the meaning for me, and that made me realise what the song was truly about. It's about losing someone slowly, and whilst it is slow and painful, it can also be very peaceful and accepting. It's not about arguments and a lot of tears; it's just acceptance that it’s happening and you’ll still be able to go forward.

Before releasing it, I spoke to my mum and told her I wanted to upload this to YouTube, but I needed her approval. I wasn’t going to upload it if it felt too personal or painful. She listened to it and she loved it and said that her mum’s voice will be around forever and that she can just go and listen to it whenever she wants. So that was really lovely.

‘Pass Over’ was so cathartic to work through, and its time for release was not for when it was written; it took a few years for me to view it from a different angle. I think a lot of musicians are afraid to like their own songs; at the end of the day, it's a part of you.

Musicngear: How long did it take to shoot and to compile the video and complete the song? 

Loading the project and doing the camera lens, it makes me almost annoyed at myself saying this, but I did it all in a day. There are other times where things take months. But for ‘Pass Over,’ it only took me a day. I had done a few add-ins for the cassette tape and the voicemails. I recorded the lip sync that night, and then I felt it was ready to release. Sometimes that's good, that spur-of-the-moment decision where your brain doesn't have a chance to tell you not to.

Sometimes it’s really good whenever you just quickly do it and you don't fall into the trap of needing to industrialise the song, of feeling that you need to gain something. Just put it out there and enjoy it. 

I've got a great family, a great partner, I’ve got a really happy life and great friends. I'm not risking all that just to be popular for music, to be playlisted. It's all about being happy overall

Musicngear: Do you feel your sound has changed or developed since The Devils With Me Now? 

That song actually did better than anything I had ever released industry-wise. It took one day for me to record it, another day to mix it, and then I sent it to get mastered. That took three days. I used one microphone for the entire recording. I had just created the song without any kind of rules. It received more plays than anything I had ever done.

I think that was the boost that I needed, as it was shortly after I became independent. I needed to just jump into something where it was only me and I could stand on my own two feet, and I think having that stripped-back acoustic sound was what I needed. It was very lighthearted, which was different from what I was used to, but I needed that at the time.

But from there until now, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stay in the same lane or sound. I do believe there will always be something tying my sound together, but I don’t know what just yet. But on ‘Pass Over’, I decided to write ‘Side One’ on it, and I don’t know why, but there needs to be a ‘Side Two’. I don't know what it is, but there's gonna be something. My subconscious told me to write it, so there is meaning behind that. There's another side of the coin. 

Musicngear: What do you feel is next for you?

I've just finished remodelling the studio. It started in January. I found the leak, I ripped it down, had to get the roof back up, had to put up all the plaster, decorate, do all the work. Again, that was great. I have had that studio for about 10 years, so obviously, I’ve been in that studio in different phases of my life.

There are great memories, but there are also bad memories. With a lot of the struggles I was dealing with, my brain kept going back to a certain time. I kept going back to the same rules and regulations that I had followed when I was in management. It's nice that I’ve changed that environment completely. Now, I am starting to see the studio as a place I want to go rather than feeling like I have to go.

I do know that I also love visuals; outside of music, that's what I do. I do videography, graphic design, and branding. I love it. So anything I do musically, I feel that there will be the visual side of it. For me, it's just a side of the story that needs to be told as well.

My goal for the future is that I don't go into the race, and that’s it. I used to think it was okay to put my mental health on the line and risk it for success, but it's not worth it. I've got a great family, a great partner, I’ve got a really happy life and great friends. I'm not risking all that just to be popular for music, to be playlisted. It's all about being happy overall. 

A lot of musicians struggle when they promote their songs and their own community doesn’t support them; that makes you feel really bad
 

Musicngear: In the future, how do you feel like you would promote your music? Will you just put it out there as a cathartic release? 

I would say yes and no. It will depend on if I have a song that I want to try and push it then 100%. ‘The Devils With Me Now’ was a fun song; I didn't feel like I was prostituting it. When it's a deep, meaningful song, I do feel like I’m tarnishing what it stands for. I may find a way to have a middle ground where I feel comfortable.

I always felt that I had my own idea to promote music, but I was never listened to. I live in Northern Ireland, and the way that the industry is, is that you try and get radio play in Northern Ireland. But to me, that doesn't make any sense because why should I not try and get radio play somewhere else, like Hawaii for instance. It’s music, it’s not geographical. If you try and get played on a local radio or a station close by, there's nothing special about you, you’re down the road.

I always wanted to do PR by just sending my songs to random places, and that's all I’ve done. I went on Google Maps, clicked on a random state in America, found a wee town, and got in touch with the radio station. The amount of playlists I got added to across America was insane, and that was exciting for me.

A lot of musicians struggle when they promote their songs and their own community doesn’t support them; that makes you feel really bad. So this is when I realised I’m not trying to get on the Belfast radio and all that, I’m just not entering that race anymore, so I just sent it to places in America, and sent it to a few cruise ships. It’s fun, you don't mind doing it. Instead of doing the same way that you’re taught in the industry, it's so hit or miss.

So I think for promoting your work it's about finding different ways to promote. The whole idea of promotion is to just make someone aware of it. It doesn't need to be sending hundreds of emails, so if it's fun, I’ll promote it, if it's more personal, I’ll just share it instead.

Musicngear: Would you perform in the future?

I think a lot of artists force themselves to perform, and it’s a very strange thing. I don't perform all that much anymore; I never really liked performing. I hate people looking at me. I remember when I started playing, and I was given advice like I needed to engage with the crowd. People say it's just stage fright or something, but it’s not. I have no issue performing, I just don't like people looking at me that much. I feel very vulnerable.

While now I’m a lot better at it with experience, I don’t feel like I need to put on a mask and portray myself a certain way. I would bring a dish cloth on stage. At home or at the studio, I have always done it, and doing that on stage might seem a bit strange, but having that helped me; it just gave me a bit of comfort.

I would say a lot of musicians struggle. A lot of musicians are anxious, or they're not that social. I definitely do. I’m always petrified that people think I’m rude or not fully attentive, but it’s because I’m so anxious, and I don't want to come across a certain way. I think a lot of people struggle, they feel if they don't like performing, then they've failed. 

In a world where all we do is talk about mental health, there’s a huge part of it where to create, you need to be in touch with your feelings to write about them

Musicngear: What kind of advice would you give to other artists that have faced similar struggles in their music journeys? 

Number one thing is to talk to other musicians. It's what saved me. I owe so much to other musicians when I didn’t know who to talk to, as they stood by me, and they were absolute angels to me. It’s trying to beat that fear of you can’t talk to anyone or you're afraid of ruining your reputation. In my circumstance, whenever I was screaming for help, I thought that other musicians would think I’m mental, but being in that industry, not only do we understand, we know as we have all experienced it at some point. We’re all just human, and we just want to create, so if somebody has your best interests at heart and questions you, listen to them. That’s one of the things that really saved me. 

In a world where all we do is talk about mental health, there’s a huge part of it where to create, you need to be in touch with your feelings to write about them. Lean onto other creatives for support. It doesn't matter if it's music or any creative industry. In the music industry, when someone isn't creative, my warning signals go off. I think to myself, why are they in this industry if they don't create? they're in this to take, and that's now my kind of warning signal, my compass. I lean on other creatives, that could be writers, videographers, anything creative because I know how they feel and they'll know how I feel and you're safe.

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About Sonia Panunzi

Sonia Panunzi is a creative content writer from London who curates interviews, review articles and commentary spanning music, film, and literature. She holds an MA in English Studies and a BA in Digital Film, combining critical insight with creative flair. Passionate about spotlighting the behind-the-scenes processes of music, Sonia is especially focused on amplifying the voices of independent musicians striving to find their place in an oversaturated industry.

Contact Sonia Panunzi at sonia.panunzi@musicngear.com

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